And I can share with you a spell I aim at people who really really annoy me. It is

GETIFAYABAZA

Of course it helps if you are 6'1",18 stone and can do a face like fizz.

You been watching the old BC again, Zen?

I went to see him when he was good.At the Apollo in Glasgow in '77, which is now long gone.
We rode on the underground when the trains still had leather seats and Buchanan street station was up a close.
The banana boots he wore are now in the Peoples Palace museum on Glasgow green.
And the train is in the Transport museum.
And the manouvering room control panel,which I operated at the time, from HMS Conqueror is in the submarine museum.
I think there is a theme developing here.

I always liked the old spell

ONYIRWAYYEBAWBAG

Someone slap my wrist if that is better kept a secret spell

That reminds me of the cartoon strip of the Bigyin. The cop was called Owen Yirway.

FABULOUS!

I can still remember the adverts with the great Stanley Baxter in them - I think it was for Birdseye frozen foods.

The one I remember best is the Scots language teacher asking the class to give him a sentance with the word "noohoosfurra" in it and a girl says "Noohoosfurra plate o' crinkly cut chips!"